So MbD said she was going to play me an audio book, and I had to listen to the whole thing. Before I cracked it, she explained it was short, included swearing, and was read by Samuel Jackson. OK, I can deal with this...
So we listened to Go The Fuck to Sleep.
It was funny, but for us, it was 'other person' funny. Not having kids of our own, it seemed we were sharing others pain. Then it occured to me - we have our own issue. I present:
Go The Fuck to Bed – by Easter Cat
Dusk is dawning, and my spirits are rising
You are obviously tired and well fed
Rather than lounge on the couch for a while
Please, can we go the fuck to bed?
Patting your chest, you are suggesting laps
Nope, can already see where Carlito has shed
No laundry to be done and you’ve been to the ‘loo
Suggesting we just go the fuck to bed
The bees are all home, the dishes are done
Cats are intelligent, it is often said
Since your work for the day is done
Quit pissing about, let’s go the fuck to bed!
It’s getting dark, the back doors are shut
Now Lito is going off his head
Chasing his tail and other mysteries
I really think we should go the fuck to bed!
The chickens are quiet but the possums are active
I hear them running across the shed
Pappa is drooling on the couch
Why can’t we go the fuck to bed?
Finally success, the humans are moving
Bringing chocolate and books to be read
Don’t care if they bring the kitchen sink
We can finally go the fuck to bed
Now Lito is here and prancing around
Pretty sure I can smack his head
Now there is yelling and I jump off
Why the fuck did I want to go to bed…